


"Song Lyrics" Drabbles 11-21

by Severina



Category: Queer as Folk (US)
Genre: community: qaf_drabbles
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2007-03-06
Updated: 2007-03-06
Packaged: 2017-10-10 15:13:53
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,420
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/101143
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Severina/pseuds/Severina
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Eleven drabbles</p>
            </blockquote>





	"Song Lyrics" Drabbles 11-21

**Author's Note:**

> Written for LJ's qaf_drabbles community  
> Prompt: Song Lyrics

**11\.   
Title:** Iris  
**Timeframe:** Episode 202

_And I don't want the world to see me  
'Cause I don't think that they'd understand  
~ Iris, Goo Goo Dolls_

In the hospital, he pushed himself to the limit, all with one goal: to get out and to see Brian.

At his mother's, he lost his hard-earned control, for fear of losing Brian.

On the way to the loft, he imagines that everything will magically come together: his stupid gimp hand will miraculously heal, he'll stop having nightmares. He'll stop being so afraid.

Instead, he huddles in the corner of Brian's sofa while Brian makes scrambled eggs in the kitchen. He expects Brian to suggest Babylon, or Woody's… but instead, they watch an old movie.

Brian, Justin realizes suddenly, understands.

 

**12\.   
Title:** A Thousand Days  
**Timeframe:** Early Season Two

_And they oughtta know  
They oughtta know  
That you're mine, all mine  
~ A Thousand Days, Clay Aiken_

Brian always had a protective streak -- with Lindsay, with Michael. In the aftermath of cold concrete, stained white silk, and the bitter taste of vomit on his tongue, that protective streak extends to Justin.

He watches the boy, and expends more energy keeping track of the way Justin holds his hand or his head than he ever did stalking a random trick.

He knows that he can't really keep all the danger at bay. But when Justin is trapped in the circle of his arms, radiant under falling confetti or blue lights, it's easy to pretend that he can.

 

**13\.   
Title:** Shades of Green  
**Timeframe:** Post Episode 306

_And I never believed that you would ever deceive  
There's so many shades of green  
~ Shades of Green, The Mission_

Justin sits at the bar and for once no one hits on him; he's sure the look on his face is keeping the hounds at bay. He reviews what he knows of Ethan: that he is slick and smooth, that his words taste like honey. Superficial bullshit. He'd wonder why he ever fell for it in the first place, except that he knows why. He doesn't hate himself for it, but he does hate to acknowledge that naiveté. He'd thought that threesomes and drugs and _Brian_ made him worldly. He hates to be wrong.

He was never wrong about Brian.

 

**14\.   
Title:** Geek in the Pink  
**Timeframe:** Early Season Four

_Geek is the colour for fall  
I'm the geek in the pink  
~ Geek in the Pink, Jason Mraz_

Justin looked from the shirt to Cody and tried not to squirm. "You're… kidding, right?"

Cody leaned back against the counter. "Pink is the colour for sissies, pussyboys, right?"

"Well…"

"So we're taking that back! We're making pink the colour of power. The colour of righteousness! The colour of kicking homophobic ass!"

Justin fingered the material, and shook his head.

"We're gonna look like geeks," one of the others mumbled.

"You don't like it, there's the door," Cody answered. "In this, we _will_ stand out. We _will_ be noticed."

Justin had to admit that Cody had a way with words.

 

**15\.   
Title:** Missing You  
**Timeframe:** Post Season Five

_I ain't missing you at all  
Since you've been gone away  
~ Missing You, John Waite_

"He's showing a distinct lack of colour co-ordination," Ted reports.

"Yesterday, he told Dirk -- you know, big brown eyes, great ass? -- that he _wasn't interested_," Emmett says.

"He's miserable, Sunshine," Debbie says.

"I've never seen him like this," Michael says glumly.

"No, that's not true," Ben counters. "He was like this when Justin was in California."

Michael adds, "And when you were with Eth--"

"I get it, Michael," Justin interrupts.

He takes an early Friday flight. Knows Cynthia will watch the door.

"You big dope," Justin says in the aftermath. "I told you we'd see each other all the time."

 

**16\.   
Title:** When I See You Smile  
**Timeframe:** Post Season Five

_Sometimes I wanna give up  
Wanna give in, wanna quit the fight  
~ When I See You Smile, Bad English_

Sometimes, Justin thinks, it's just too hard.

When Brian is being a complete and total asshole, and he has to hold his hand and remind him seventeen times that New York City is not the moon, and each visit back to Pittsburgh is not going to be his last, and that he can be both a kickass partner and a kickass artist.

At times like those, Justin drinks at Woody's, dances at Babylon, and pours his heart out to Emmett amidst many a vodka sour.

And then he goes home to Brian, like he always does. Like he always will.

 

**17.  
Title:** Every Time You Go Away  
**Timeframe:** Post Season Five

_Every time you go away  
You take a piece of me with you  
~ Every Time You Go Away, Paul Young_

Brian thinks that it will get easier, in time.

It doesn't.

He feels himself flayed, stripped to the bone each time Justin walks out the door. The passage of time slows when Justin is gone, and speeds when he is home. Then, calm confident hands ease the hurt, put Brian back together again piece by fragile piece.

Brian wants to end it, this agony of in between, and eventually he does.

He packs his bag. Buys a long delayed plane ticket to Ibiza.

Meets Justin at the door to their suite with the announcement that he's moving to New York.

 

**18\.   
Title:** Everlasting Love  
**Timeframe:** Post Season Five

_Open up your eyes  
Then you'll realize  
Here I stand with my  
Everlasting love  
~ Everlasting Love_

Brian doesn't remember what they fought about, though he's absolutely certain it was Justin's fault.

He spends three days in a righteous snit. Then another three most assuredly not staring at the phone or repeatedly checking his email. On the seventh day he fires Ted. Cynthia hires him back, which _really_ pisses him off.

Finally, on the twelfth day, Brian comes to the realization that he's actually going to have to eat crow, even though he doesn't remember why. He shows up at Justin's show… with flowers.

This love thing is a lot harder than he thought it would be.

 

**19\.   
Title:** There You'll Be  
**Timeframe:** Post Season Five

_In my dreams I always see you soar above the sky  
In my heart there'll always be a place for you  
For all my life  
~ There You'll Be, Faith Hill_

Brian always did say that the lad was a genius.

He feels a breathless, aching pride when he looks at the clippings: first a paragraph or two from the trendier New York magazines, then stunning reviews and interviews in ArtForum and NYArts. He'd always believed that the stash was completely and utterly private, but when Justin returned home after the People interview -- by then Brian had realized that Justin really could have it all, but then: lad, genius, he's not sure why he's surprised -- he'd found the note tucked into the folder: "I have a Kinnetik folder on you, too."

 

**20\.   
Title:** Take Me Home, Country Road  
**Timeframe:** Post Season Five

_Take me home, country road  
To the place I belong  
~ Take Me Home Country Road, John Denver_

He's taken this route dozens of times, a hundred, but it seems to Justin that the air has never smelled sweeter, never been quite as crisp. The leaves fluttering on the trees have never been quite that exact shade of red and gold, have never looked so much like they are waving a welcome.

He over-tips the driver; promises himself he won't run but finds himself jogging, digging for his keys… and then it doesn't matter, because Brian is there, and Justin breathes in the brisk autumn air, breathes in Brian, and feels alive for the first time in months.

 

**21\.   
Title:** Still The One  
**Timeframe:** Post Season Five

_You're still the one that makes me shout  
Still the one that I dream about  
We're still having fun  
And you're still the one  
~ Still The One, Orleans_

He dreams in vivid colours, blues and reds and greens. Dreams of the look on Brian's face at Gus's first pageant, flying up to Toronto through powder puff clouds, the way Brian's smile is unguarded and free. Dreams of hands that clutch his hips, of biting into his pillow, of sweat soaked sheets and the hum of bees and bright green grass against his thighs.

When he wakens, Brian watches him over the rims of his glasses and smirks.

"I was dreaming," he mumbles.

Brian snakes out a hand, draws him in, cups his cock. Some things never change. Thankfully.


End file.
